Here's a few that I did:
Monday, January 28, 2019
Forgot to add
I found a really cool coloring app for the phone that does a very good job of simulating real crayons and paints.
Here's a few that I did:
Here's a few that I did:
In a leg trap
I went to the doctor for another post-op appointment on Friday, and I'm not healing quite as fast as I could be, so he wasn't able to take the stitches out. I have another appointment next Monday, hopefully he'll be able to take them out then. It didn't help that I fell on the way out of the house and busted open the scab on the incision. Hurt like a bitch, I was actually worried that I had torn some stitches loose. He wants me to put more weight on my heel, so he put me into a walking boot. The MA who fit the boot gave me one that's really too big. This thing is a monster, and weighs about a thousand pounds!
It really does make me more mobile, but it seriously hurts the entire time I'm walking in it. It hurts enough that I'm worried about it not healing properly and hurting like that forever. I've still only used about half my pain meds, but I don't like taking them. Tylenol is enough to keep the general pain down, but not enough to deal with the pain that comes from actually putting weight on the whole foot. It's making me not move around much at all, now, but I'm wearing the boot like I'm supposed to be.
There's a really impressive bruise on the bottom of my foot:
And the boot is just plain uncomfortable. It's hot, heavy, bulky. Makes me cranky.
Also cranky that my period is late. Due to Lexapro, surgery, stress? Dunno. Will probably surprise me in the middle of the night and make a mess.
I'm just bitchy about the fact that it's only been two weeks since my surgery, and I still have 6 weeks to go. Going to lose my mind.
Dinah the Maine Coon has become very, VERY clingy and has passed the status of Velcro cat into Superglue cat. It's really nice to have her in my lap while I'm on the couch, but she wants to be directly in front of my face, and won't even stay off long enough for me to stand up.
Three weeks on Lexapro, and I feel like it's starting to help. Might just be the lack of having to go to work and being able to laze around. But lazing around has been messing up my sleep schedule. I tend to fall asleep on the couch during the day.
Ok, Tylenol should have started working by now, hopefully I can get up and go do the dishes. I feel really guilty being home and not doing anything useful :(
It really does make me more mobile, but it seriously hurts the entire time I'm walking in it. It hurts enough that I'm worried about it not healing properly and hurting like that forever. I've still only used about half my pain meds, but I don't like taking them. Tylenol is enough to keep the general pain down, but not enough to deal with the pain that comes from actually putting weight on the whole foot. It's making me not move around much at all, now, but I'm wearing the boot like I'm supposed to be.
There's a really impressive bruise on the bottom of my foot:
And the boot is just plain uncomfortable. It's hot, heavy, bulky. Makes me cranky.
Also cranky that my period is late. Due to Lexapro, surgery, stress? Dunno. Will probably surprise me in the middle of the night and make a mess.
I'm just bitchy about the fact that it's only been two weeks since my surgery, and I still have 6 weeks to go. Going to lose my mind.
Dinah the Maine Coon has become very, VERY clingy and has passed the status of Velcro cat into Superglue cat. It's really nice to have her in my lap while I'm on the couch, but she wants to be directly in front of my face, and won't even stay off long enough for me to stand up.
Three weeks on Lexapro, and I feel like it's starting to help. Might just be the lack of having to go to work and being able to laze around. But lazing around has been messing up my sleep schedule. I tend to fall asleep on the couch during the day.
Ok, Tylenol should have started working by now, hopefully I can get up and go do the dishes. I feel really guilty being home and not doing anything useful :(
Thursday, January 24, 2019
Terrorism
Why do I have to negotiate with my cat in order to have space in an empty, KING SIZED bed!?!
Also testing the post by email feature.
Monday, January 21, 2019
Feeling better
It seems I may be past the worst of the initial side effects. Haven't had any nausea in a few days, and I don't feel fuzzyheaded. But Friday was ridiculous. I spent all day in bed. And by all day, I mean about 30 hours, only getting up a couple times for pills and peeing. Maybe that's what I needed, because I felt much better on Saturday. I'm hoping that I see some real benefits soon.
My friend Geekboy took me to a movie yesterday, which was really nice to get out of the house, but man, did that tire me out scooting all over the mall. Was out of the house for about 5 hours, and felt like I had gone to the gym for a massive workout. My left leg is going to have thighs of steel by the time I recover. I am able to put a decent amount of weight on the left foot, but it has to go on my toes. Putting any stress on the heel is still too painful. Took a shower on Saturday and redid the bandaging. It was the first time I had seen the incision, and it looks gnarly. Lots of stitches!
Gross foot picture!!!
It's only been a week, and I am rather bored at home. Maybe now that I can concentrate on something for more than a few minutes I can play some games. Sitting at the computer for a decent gaming session might still be out, so I think I'll have use my laptop from the couch. My foot starts swelling up and hurting if it isn't propped up.
My friend Geekboy took me to a movie yesterday, which was really nice to get out of the house, but man, did that tire me out scooting all over the mall. Was out of the house for about 5 hours, and felt like I had gone to the gym for a massive workout. My left leg is going to have thighs of steel by the time I recover. I am able to put a decent amount of weight on the left foot, but it has to go on my toes. Putting any stress on the heel is still too painful. Took a shower on Saturday and redid the bandaging. It was the first time I had seen the incision, and it looks gnarly. Lots of stitches!
Gross foot picture!!!
It's only been a week, and I am rather bored at home. Maybe now that I can concentrate on something for more than a few minutes I can play some games. Sitting at the computer for a decent gaming session might still be out, so I think I'll have use my laptop from the couch. My foot starts swelling up and hurting if it isn't propped up.
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Scoot, Scoot, Muthafuckah!
So my foot is all cut up, and I'm home and bored already. I have this ridiculous little knee scooter that I can zoom around on, which is good, because I suck at using the crutches.
I go for my post-op appointment soon, and maybe I can get this awful ace wrap off. Today is the first day I've had any real pain, but I'm trying to avoid the percocets. I've only taken two so far.
Second day of full dose of Lexapro, at 10 mg. Still having nausea and lightheadedness. The hospital gave me an anti-nausea patch to deal with the anesthesia, which was very helpful with the lexapro, too, but it came off this morning.
I played some video games at the computer last night, which was good, but I think I overdid it, because my foot was really hurting by the time I went to bed. I think I should keep it elevated as much as possible, which means staying on the couch or in my recliner. I'll have to use my laptop again if I want to do any more long gaming sessions for right now.
Big D should be poking his head out of his office in a few minutes so we can get ready to go.
I go for my post-op appointment soon, and maybe I can get this awful ace wrap off. Today is the first day I've had any real pain, but I'm trying to avoid the percocets. I've only taken two so far.
Second day of full dose of Lexapro, at 10 mg. Still having nausea and lightheadedness. The hospital gave me an anti-nausea patch to deal with the anesthesia, which was very helpful with the lexapro, too, but it came off this morning.
I played some video games at the computer last night, which was good, but I think I overdid it, because my foot was really hurting by the time I went to bed. I think I should keep it elevated as much as possible, which means staying on the couch or in my recliner. I'll have to use my laptop again if I want to do any more long gaming sessions for right now.
Big D should be poking his head out of his office in a few minutes so we can get ready to go.
Friday, January 11, 2019
Last day at work before surgery
Stealing a bit of time at work, just because today is the first day this week that I've had any kind of down time. This week has been a nightmare of massive spike in volume and equipment failures left and right. Today is the first day this week that we haven't had some kind of equipment issue. Don't worry, there's still 3 hours left, plenty of time for something to break. It's been very stressful.
The new medication side effects aren't helping, either. Neither is my anxiety over my foot surgery on Monday.
Day 4 of Lexapro. Still have nausea, jittery, a little bit of lightheadedness, but it seems to be improving. I've had so much ginger this week that I can't imagine how I'm not sweating ginger crystals by now. But it really helps.
Foot surgery for the plantar fasciitis and heel spur happens on Monday. It's a minor surgery, but I'm really worried about how the recovery will go. I mean, it's my foot, it's not like I can do much if it gets fucked up. Kinda hard to move around without a proper weight bearing appendage.
Plus, I just am not sure how the whole "being home for 2 months" is going to impact things at home. Big D and I have been having a lot of communication issues and things aren't really that rosy right now. When I'm the one who does 98% of the emotional labor in the relationship and I'm having one of the worst depressive episodes I've EVER had, not surprising that things go a little haywire. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how things go. I'm still planning on going to IL to visit the crazy auntie for a few weeks, but even that depends on how my physical recovery is going.
So I'm just a queasy, dizzy ball of stress right now. Trying very hard to keep it contained and not lash out at people.
The new medication side effects aren't helping, either. Neither is my anxiety over my foot surgery on Monday.
Day 4 of Lexapro. Still have nausea, jittery, a little bit of lightheadedness, but it seems to be improving. I've had so much ginger this week that I can't imagine how I'm not sweating ginger crystals by now. But it really helps.
Foot surgery for the plantar fasciitis and heel spur happens on Monday. It's a minor surgery, but I'm really worried about how the recovery will go. I mean, it's my foot, it's not like I can do much if it gets fucked up. Kinda hard to move around without a proper weight bearing appendage.
Plus, I just am not sure how the whole "being home for 2 months" is going to impact things at home. Big D and I have been having a lot of communication issues and things aren't really that rosy right now. When I'm the one who does 98% of the emotional labor in the relationship and I'm having one of the worst depressive episodes I've EVER had, not surprising that things go a little haywire. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how things go. I'm still planning on going to IL to visit the crazy auntie for a few weeks, but even that depends on how my physical recovery is going.
So I'm just a queasy, dizzy ball of stress right now. Trying very hard to keep it contained and not lash out at people.
Thursday, January 10, 2019
Let's try this again, shall we?
I've missed having an online personal journal. For many reasons, but mostly because I seem to lose touch with myself if I don't. I've tried some phone journal apps a few times, but I just can't type fast enough on my phone to keep up with my thoughts. Not that I didn't ever post by phone to my old journal, but it wasn't the main source of entries.
Plus, I feel the need to have it online and potentially accessible to passers by. Not that I am under any delusions that what I feel the need to post will be beneficial or useful or even entertaining to anyone but myself. But if you are going to scream into the void, at least you should give the void the option to yell back.
So, some basics.
You can call me PokieDragon. I am female, white, early forties, short, fat, near-sighted. Used to be blonde, I think my hair color is called dirty blonde now? Not quite light brown, not quite blonde anymore. I have a small streak of white on my temple that I actually think looks kinda nifty.
That pretty much covers it, I think. I'm not really that interesting.
It's been a very rough time in my brain for the last 6 months or so. If I'm being honest, which I always try to be, especially with myself, these last few months have been the closest I've ever come to actively planning suicide. But I swore to myself a long time ago that I would never let my mother win. One reason I felt the need to resume journaling is so I can keep better track of my mental states. I find it very helpful to know what I was thinking and feeling at times.
So today is day two of my fourth antidepressant. In order, I have been on Prozac, Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, and now Lexapro. Prozac saved my life, probably quite literally, and it and Cymbalta worked well until they didn't. I switched to Wellbutrin almost exactly 2 years ago, and while it seemed to work ok, I never felt as good on it as I did the Cymbalta. Honestly, I probably should have stayed on cymbalta, but I think I panicked when I had some serious stress over a horrible job and had a fairly mild depressive episode. Cymbalta had worked so well for so long that I didn't know how to handle an episode like that. I found a new job shortly after, but was already on the Wellbutrin, so decided to leave well enough alone.
Yesterday I had VERY bad nausea, and didn't sleep that well. Today, I managed to keep most of the nausea at bay with some seriously strong ginger candy that I had gotten in Canada during my vacation this year. My Amazon order with more candy and some ginger tea, as well as some pepto-bismol tablets, came today, so hopefully I should be set for the nausea. If insomnia is going to be one of the initial side effects that I will have to deal with, I can try switching the time I take it around. I've been doing some reading on Lexapro, and it seems like it should work for me. It's the same class of drug as Prozac, and my new doctor says we can consider adding Cymbalta back in at a lower dose if it's necessary. I'm on a half dose for a week, then up to 10 mg, and we'll see how that does.
I think this is a pretty good start, and I'm tired, so it's time for bed.
Plus, I feel the need to have it online and potentially accessible to passers by. Not that I am under any delusions that what I feel the need to post will be beneficial or useful or even entertaining to anyone but myself. But if you are going to scream into the void, at least you should give the void the option to yell back.
So, some basics.
You can call me PokieDragon. I am female, white, early forties, short, fat, near-sighted. Used to be blonde, I think my hair color is called dirty blonde now? Not quite light brown, not quite blonde anymore. I have a small streak of white on my temple that I actually think looks kinda nifty.
That pretty much covers it, I think. I'm not really that interesting.
It's been a very rough time in my brain for the last 6 months or so. If I'm being honest, which I always try to be, especially with myself, these last few months have been the closest I've ever come to actively planning suicide. But I swore to myself a long time ago that I would never let my mother win. One reason I felt the need to resume journaling is so I can keep better track of my mental states. I find it very helpful to know what I was thinking and feeling at times.
So today is day two of my fourth antidepressant. In order, I have been on Prozac, Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, and now Lexapro. Prozac saved my life, probably quite literally, and it and Cymbalta worked well until they didn't. I switched to Wellbutrin almost exactly 2 years ago, and while it seemed to work ok, I never felt as good on it as I did the Cymbalta. Honestly, I probably should have stayed on cymbalta, but I think I panicked when I had some serious stress over a horrible job and had a fairly mild depressive episode. Cymbalta had worked so well for so long that I didn't know how to handle an episode like that. I found a new job shortly after, but was already on the Wellbutrin, so decided to leave well enough alone.
Yesterday I had VERY bad nausea, and didn't sleep that well. Today, I managed to keep most of the nausea at bay with some seriously strong ginger candy that I had gotten in Canada during my vacation this year. My Amazon order with more candy and some ginger tea, as well as some pepto-bismol tablets, came today, so hopefully I should be set for the nausea. If insomnia is going to be one of the initial side effects that I will have to deal with, I can try switching the time I take it around. I've been doing some reading on Lexapro, and it seems like it should work for me. It's the same class of drug as Prozac, and my new doctor says we can consider adding Cymbalta back in at a lower dose if it's necessary. I'm on a half dose for a week, then up to 10 mg, and we'll see how that does.
I think this is a pretty good start, and I'm tired, so it's time for bed.